Understanding the 5 Stages of Relationships
Relationships are one of the most profound ways we experience growth and connection, and they are not always easy. As a relationship therapist, I often help clients navigate the complexities of their partnerships during many different stages. I often bring in the framework created by Dr. Susan Campbell, which outlines 5 Stages of Relationships. It’s a framework that illuminates the common challenges couples face during natural phases of progression, and normalizes the ups and downs that are part of every relationship journey.
Here are the 5 Stages of Relationships that many partnerships go through:
1. The Romance Stage
2. The Power Struggle Stage
3. The Stability Stage
4. The Commitment Stage
5. The Co-Creation or Bliss Stage
Let’s explore these five stages, what they entail, and how you can move through them with greater awareness and intentionality.
1. The Romance Stage
Often referred to as the "honeymoon phase," the Romance Stage is characterized by infatuation, excitement, and an idealized view of your partner. This stage is fuelled by attraction and the joy of discovery, and often lasts anywhere from 6 months to 2 years. Partners often focus on their similarities and downplay differences, fostering a sense of unity and connection.
From a therapeutic perspective, this stage is vital for building the bond that will help couples navigate challenges later. However, it’s important to remember that this phase is not sustainable forever. When the intensity wanes, it’s not a sign that the relationship is failing—it’s a natural progression.
Tips for this stage: Cherish this stage, but stay grounded. Recognize that differences and conflicts will arise later, and that’s okay.
2. The Power Struggle Stage
As the Romance Stage fades, the Power Struggle Stage emerges. This stage often arises when one partner perceives a level of permanence in the relationship (e.g., dating exclusively, moving in together, pregnancy, engagement or marriage, or anything else that symbolizes permanence).
In this stage, partners begin to notice each other’s flaws and differences. Conflicts arise, and power dynamics come into play. Many couples report having fights about the same issues over and over again. This stage can feel disheartening and frustrating, leading some couples to question their compatibility. Many couples don’t make it past this stage and instead decide that the relationship is not a compatible fit, only to find similar issues resurfacing in other relationships.
From my experience, this stage is where growth truly happens. The Power Struggle stage is an opportunity to confront your expectations, communicate needs, and learn how to resolve conflict in healthy ways. This can be an opportunity to discuss each other’s childhood histories, triggers, and reactions and how they may be showing up in the current relationship. Many couples seek therapy during this stage, feeling stuck or disconnected, and wanting support to navigate the challenges they face. Being able to accept that your partner will have different ideas, beliefs, and values from you and still being able to appreciate them for who they are is what will lead to progression to the next stage.
Tips for this stage: Embrace conflict as a chance to deepen understanding of yourself and your partner. Find ways to communicate kindly about emotionally charged topics. Work on expressing needs clearly, using active listening, repairing after ruptures, and setting healthy boundaries. Ensuring both partners feel heard and understood during conflict, working to find a common middle ground, and figuring out what you are willing to compromise on or not is important in this stage.
3. The Stability Stage
After working through the struggles and finding ways to compromise, couples enter the Stability Stage. Here, partners have a clearer sense of each other’s needs and boundaries and begin to accept each other as they are. The intense highs and lows of the earlier stages level out, creating a more balanced and secure dynamic. The feeling of love that was present in the Romance Stage comes back again, in a more mature and deeper sense.
This stage is marked by mutual respect and the ability to navigate differences without feeling threatened. While stability brings comfort, some partners may feel a loss of the excitement that characterized the Romance Stage.
Tips for this stage: Use this stage to foster deeper intimacy. Explore shared goals, nurture emotional connection, and prioritize quality time.
4. The Commitment Stage
The Commitment Stage represents a deepening of the relationship. Partners fully accept each other, including their imperfections, and commit to the relationship with a sense of shared purpose. This stage isn’t about resignation; it’s about choosing to love and grow together despite challenges. This is a stage when you can honestly say to your partner, “I don’t need you. I choose you, knowing all I know about you, good and bad.”
In this stage, partners often feel a renewed sense of partnership and clarity about their long-term vision. They’re better equipped to handle future struggles, knowing they’ve weathered previous ones successfully.
Tips for this stage: Celebrate this milestone. Reflect on how far you’ve come and continue to invest in the relationship’s growth through shared activities, rituals, and ongoing communication.
5. The Co-Creation or Bliss Stage
The final stage, often called the Co-Creation or Bliss Stage, is about creating a life together that aligns with shared values and goals. Couples in this stage experience a profound sense of partnership and often extend their focus beyond the relationship—such as contributing to their community, starting a business, raising children, or pursuing shared passions.
This stage is not without challenges, but couples at this point have the tools and resilience to navigate them together. There’s a sense of ease and flow, rooted in the mutual trust and understanding built over time.
Tips for this stage: Stay curious about each other and continue growing individually and as a couple. Celebrate your shared achievements and maintain a spirit of gratitude.
Navigating the Stages with Intention
Understanding these stages can help normalize the natural ebbs and flows of relationships. Each stage presents unique opportunities for growth, both as individuals and as a couple. Many couples find the Power Struggle Stage the most difficult, and that’s usually when they show up for couples counselling.
The stages are not always experienced linearly, you may bounce back to a stage if there are still issues to sort out. If you’re feeling stuck or unsure about your relationship’s current stage, therapy can provide a safe space to explore your feelings and gain tools for moving forward. Being able to identify which stage you are in and consciously work towards growth can be helpful.
If you are interested in working with me for individual or couples counselling to explore your relationship, you can book an appointment with me online here.
